![]() Epps and Ferriman discover the corpses of another salvage crew. Greer claims to have heard the singing of an unseen songstress throughout the ship. ![]() ![]() Epps claims to have seen a little girl on the stairwell. When they board the ship and prepare to tow it to shore, strange things begin to happen. While exploring the abandoned ship, they discover that it is the long-lost Antonia Graza. The crew soon set out on the Arctic Warrior, their ocean salvage tugboat. Because the ship is in international waters, it can be claimed by whoever is able to bring it to a port. In the present day, a salvage crew - Captain Sean Murphy ( Gabriel Byrne), Maureen Epps ( Julianna Margulies), Greer ( Isaiah Washington), Dodge ( Ron Eldard), Munder ( Karl Urban) and Santos (Alex Dimitriades) - is celebrating a recent success at a bar, when Jack Ferriman ( Desmond Harrington), a Canadian weather service pilot, approaches them and says he has spotted a mysterious vessel running adrift in the Bering Sea. Katie screams at the unbelievably horrific scene as the ship disappears never to be seen again. She looks up at the Captain's face, which splits open at mouth level as the top of his head falls off. Things fall apart and only little Katie ( Emily Browning) - who is dancing with the Captain - are left standing, thanks to her small stature and to the captain leaning protectively over her. Suddenly, the spool snaps and the wire slices across the dance floor like a blade, bisecting every dancer on the floor. In May 1962, hundreds of wealthy passengers enjoy dancing in the luxurious ballroom of an Italian ocean liner, the Antonia Graza, while a beautiful Italian singer (Francesca Rettondini) performs "Senza Fine." Out of the bow of the ship, a smaller gathering of guest dance on a raised platform, when a hand presses a lever that winds up a thin wire cord from a spool. This page is about the 2002 film directed by Steve Beck. There’s a difference between funny and ha-ha funny and shooting for both only cockblocks everyone.There are two films with the same name, but they are markedly different. This different tones, different approaches comedy can work on occasion (see Caddyshack), but here it feels like a jumbled mess of crossed swords, alternating intentions and Michael Douglas. Yet, in many scenes, they’re acting opposite Breckin Meyer’s straight man from Road Trip and Matthew McConaughey’s laid-back, charming Matthew McConaughey. Take for example Lacey Chabert and Emma Stone, two beautiful actresses who so zealously buy into their physical tantrums and verbal harangues, they might have fit in nicely in Wedding Crashers or Harold And Kumar. Some seem to be acting in a comedy with some romance, others a romance with a little comedy. It’s never really made clear, and that’s confusing. Lovable, silly, cute and clichéd at parts, slow, indulgent, misguided and unfunny at others, Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past tries to be a raucous, high-energy fling through a decade of relationships or maybe tries to be a heart-felt, aww-shucks amble through those same relationships. This works, to varying degrees, for both Connor and the audience until all the comfortable notes are struck and the conclusion we’ve all been waiting for rears its good guy head. Of course, he walks back into her life at the wedding of his brother (Breckin Meyer), and after shamelessly hitting on the bride’s mother and every able-bodied woman this side of the Bunny Ranch, Uncle Wayne decides to help in Dickensian fashion by sending in three ghosts with aims on leading Connor back to Jenny and providing a little amusement for himself and the audience. She doesn’t fall for his lines, tells him he can’t come upstairs and makes him fall in love until she lets him upstairs and he lets her go. This one’s name is Jenny ( Jennifer Garner). But for every good rule there’s a better exception and behind every mediocre romantic comedy, there’s a girl who got away. Young ones, old ones, white ones, black ones, skinny ones and fat ones, Connor Mead loves ’em and leaves ’em all. His dearly departed Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas) taught him from an early age the only foolproof way to permanently mend a broken heart is by continually breaking new ones. Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey) is a talented photographer by nature, callous womanizer by training. ![]()
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